girl-625353__180 FEAR!I met you years ago when you barged your way into my heart fixing your grip on my insecurities. You made me fear myself, my strength, my weakness, my life. I did not want you, but you came anyway. I never asked you to stay but you insisted on being my appendage. You were always there. While I slept, while I moved, anytime I wanted to do something new.


You allowed me to be bullied by my class mates because I was scared they would find out who I was and where I lived. I was afraid that no one would see me nor want me as a friend so I allowed the bullying. At least people spoke to me then.


Fear you thrived and flourished while I cried and got skinny. I became nasty, became hash thinking I could defeat you all by myself. What people thought was confidence was a battle I was fighting within me. The class mates that bullied me I fought back physically. I was my champion. I defeated  you.


That’s what I thought. But you merely slipped into the dark corners of my soul. For days, months and some years I was free. You came back with a swing, with a new vengeance. I didn’t have any weapons. You had studied me, my soul and my mind. For years I was a carcass. For years I couldn’t speak out. What if they stopped loving me if I confronted my abusive friend. I knew I shouldn’t be treated this way. What if I failed if I just tried to be me? What if I stood my ground, would I still be wanted?

person-371015__180  Hello fear. Its been a while we saw each other. I don’t miss you. I hear you when you creep up to me but you always meet the NO ENTRY TO NON AUTHORISED PERSONEL.  

Hello fear. Guess what? I dont need to fight for what had already be won.




Everyone like a phone has many apps in them. In a phone, there are loads and loads of apps running quietly causing the “phone of our recent dreams” to function. However, we never optimise the use of our phones before we get attracted to a newer version or a different brand of phone.

In a survey done at a teens group meeting, they were asked if any of them utilised ALL the apps in their phones before buying a new one. None raised their hands. When asked why, one of them replied (many of them agreed with this point) that they really had never thought about it. They just liked the fact they could buy another phone that looked smarter, looked more expensive and really more attractive.

We arent different from our phones. We have various apps installed in us. We have our entertainment app, academic app, social app, emotional app, financial app, behaviour app, interlectual app, religious app, creativity  app  etc. They get upgraded everytime we hear a new song, or watch a new game on the sports channel. We learn things everyday, every minute, every second. Every 24hrs our apps are being upgraded.

Then we see someone we think is better looking than us, smarter than us, more popular than us, maybe wealthier than us, healthier than us. What do we do? We want to buy a new us. The market out there tells us that we need to forget what brand and make we are, sometimes they make us discard the purpose of who we are.  We want to become all of them and no more us. Then we try, try so hard that it leads to depression and sometimes suicide at our failures.  Our attitudes change, soon our characters change. We become worse.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.  You should be happy with who you are. You  may not be the best or the greatest, that doesnt mean you are useless. All it means it is time for an internal search.  You may not be maximising your apps, chances are you  havent even begun making use of your apps that are needed to become the best. Another check in your internal search may show your storage is just full of junk and irrelevant data.

CHECK YOUR MANUAL. With a show of hands, who reads the manual when they are about to use their new phones? Another question, who reads through their manual? Every manual comes with detailed descriptions of the phone as well as the care of the phone, the strength of the phone and the restrictions to what the phone can do. Most importantly it tells the owner the purpose of the phone.

Same for us. Our manufacturer has given us our manual with the detailed instructions on how to maximise our lives to the fullest. Our manual is the Word of God and our manufacturer is GOD Himself.  God knows everything about you. He knows who needs what app and who doesnt. Stop looking at other models of  phones, look at your manual, maximise your apps. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!