HELLO FEAR!

girl-625353__180 FEAR!I met you years ago when you barged your way into my heart fixing your grip on my insecurities. You made me fear myself, my strength, my weakness, my life. I did not want you, but you came anyway. I never asked you to stay but you insisted on being my appendage. You were always there. While I slept, while I moved, anytime I wanted to do something new.

 

You allowed me to be bullied by my class mates because I was scared they would find out who I was and where I lived. I was afraid that no one would see me nor want me as a friend so I allowed the bullying. At least people spoke to me then.

 

Fear you thrived and flourished while I cried and got skinny. I became nasty, became hash thinking I could defeat you all by myself. What people thought was confidence was a battle I was fighting within me. The class mates that bullied me I fought back physically. I was my champion. I defeated  you.

 

That’s what I thought. But you merely slipped into the dark corners of my soul. For days, months and some years I was free. You came back with a swing, with a new vengeance. I didn’t have any weapons. You had studied me, my soul and my mind. For years I was a carcass. For years I couldn’t speak out. What if they stopped loving me if I confronted my abusive friend. I knew I shouldn’t be treated this way. What if I failed if I just tried to be me? What if I stood my ground, would I still be wanted?

person-371015__180  Hello fear. Its been a while we saw each other. I don’t miss you. I hear you when you creep up to me but you always meet the NO ENTRY TO NON AUTHORISED PERSONEL.  

Hello fear. Guess what? I dont need to fight for what had already be won.

  HELLO FEAR MEET MY NEW ME… JESUS!

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